Panayioti was born in the summer of 2009 so Christmas of 2010, when this picture was taken, he was 18 months old. Close to the age that my baby girl is at now (17 months). I’m doing that vicious and depressing thing again where I look at old photos and videos of him before he regressed to try to pinpoint the EXACT time it happened and I still can’t and I still can’t for the life of me understand why such a healthy baby boy would get such a raw deal. Why turn a kid who’s progressing so much, speaking, pointing, playing, why turn such a sweet little kid on his head and just throw out everything he’s learned?! Anyway. I didn’t intend to make this into some sort of rant. I am just frustrated today because Panayioti is out of school and when he’s out of school he’s not his best self and I tried to engage him, to play with his little sister, to bake cookies, etc., but he just wouldn’t get out of his ‘zone’ so I yelled at him. I’m going to make an even bigger effort tomorrow, probably include the lentils that he loves to play with so much and just let him spread them all over the floor if that’s what makes him happiest, because it’s just the three of us during the day and time just does not fly sometimes. I hope he knows I love him, even though I yelled at him. I hope he understands at least that much.